Perspective
by Beyond the Bedroom
Summary: Sometimes, more isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's all about perspective.


**Title:** Perspective

 **Summary:** Sometimes, more isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's all about perspective.

 **Pairing:** Edward and Bella

 **Rating:** M

 **Word Count** : 5,018

 **Disclaimer:** Twilight and its inclusive material are copyright to Stephanie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Oh God, Oh God! I lie there writhing, searching for that high, my fingers buried deep inside myself. I quickly re-read the words on my tablet over and over. Pulled up on the screen is my very favorite Fanfiction story, my go-to for fulfilling my most basic carnal need. My favorite fic, filled with dirty talk, sexual adventure and a tad of kink.

Just a little more and I'm almost there as I take one last swipe over my sensitive nub. The next thing that could be heard is the high-pitched keening noise that comes with my release. Stars are in my vision, and tingling nerves roam my skin.

The next sound I hear comes from downstairs.

"Bella, are you home?"

The man behind the gentle voice that has been mine for over ten years is slowly climbing the stairs. I scramble to turn the tablet off and cover myself with the sheets … as if I could hide what I had just been doing.

"Bella, what are you doing? Are you feeling okay?"

Willing my heart to slow down I speak, "Yes, Edward, I'm fine. I just needed to lie down for a bit." It wasn't a lie.

"Why are you in here with the lights off and the curtains drawn? It's 1:30 in the afternoon. Do you have a headache?"

He turns the bedside light on. "Your face is flushed." As he sits down beside me, he notices the hard object underneath the sheets. He pulls it out, and realization slowly hits. He would know the look of my post-orgasmic afterglow anywhere. "Why didn't you wait for me, Bella?" as the look of disappointment slowly takes over his face. "I would have taken care of you later tonight."

More and more often, he has walked in on me either engrossed in a story or coming down from a high. He gets up from the bed and walks quietly back out the door into the hallway and down the stairs.

That was the question of all questions, why didn't I wait for him? I knew in my heart what I wasn't ready to admit out loud. Ten years of marriage had taken its toll on us. Like every married couple, we had our ups and downs. We had three beautiful children. Edward sometimes worked sixty hours a week at his law firm, leaving me to be the run around/stay at home mom. Frequently torn in three separate directions, between carpools and PTA and soccer and ballet, I was tired. I loved being a stay at home mom and was grateful that I had the ability to do so, but I was so tired, and bored. The exciting sex life that we used to have was all but gone. When we did have the chance to spend some quality time together, we had nice sex. Nice, quiet, missionary style sex. Don't get me wrong, Edward always takes care of me, but in the end, I seem to find myself wanting. Wanting something more, some spice, _something_. It's as if we're going through the motions. I feel bad because I know Edward is doing the best he can. I see the tired lines on his still beautiful face. I know he is trying to give me it all. The guilty feeling of selfishness washes over me.

I put on my robe and follow after him to see where he went. I find him in his office, sitting at his mahogany desk, with an open manila file folder. At first glance, you would think he was reading, but his eyes just stare blankly at the page, unmoving, for over a minute.

"I don't know what else you want from me, Bella. I came home to get a file I left here." He pauses contemplating what he wants to say. "Do you do that a lot during the day when I'm not home? Am I that unfulfilling to you?"

"No Edward, that's not it."

"Then what is it?" He says louder than I was expecting. "What more do you want?"

Seconds pass, both of us staring at each other.

"I just want to spice things up a little more. I want more spontaneity **,** a little less vanilla."

"Less vanilla?" He looks at me questioningly.

"Let me show you something," I say before I run up the stairs to find my tablet.

Returning to his office, I turn it on and flip to Chapter one. "Maybe we could do a little more of this." He peruses the first paragraph, his eyes widening as he starts to scroll. I quietly leave him to it as I go off to get dressed. I need to pick up the kids from school in an hour and start to figure something out for dinner. When I get back he's gone, the tablet is still on his desk in the office. I pick it up and take it back to the kitchen pulling up a new story I read about on a Fanfic recommendation site.

In between homework questions and dinner instructions, I sneak in a few chapters. Over the next few weeks, Edward is quiet but attentive to our family. He still shows me all the love and affection that has been a part of our life together, but he continues to be busy with work and has been on his phone a lot.

I try to be more mindful of my Fanfiction reading around him and a little more discreet in my self-pleasure. I have cut back some in the hopes that it will make our times together a little more exciting, more pleasurable. One night while lying in bed Edward turns to me, "I've been thinking that we need a little time away, away from the house and the kids. I know what you are thinking, but my parents have already agreed to take them for a week after school lets out. What do you say?"

"I say yes!" as I leap over covering his face with kisses.

"I want to take you somewhere nice, Bella, where we can just be us again, if only for a little bit."

"I think that sounds wonderful."

* * *

A few weeks later, we board our flight from Seattle to Kona, Hawaii, Edward loading our belongings into the overhead bin. I've never flown first class before so this is a real treat, especially for the long flight. The flight attendant checks if we need anything and offers us both blankets and pillows. As the flight takes off Edward is holding my hand, but very engrossed in whatever he is reading on his phone. I'm a little disheartened to think that he couldn't be bothered to leave his work at home. He pulls out a small notebook and even starts jotting some notes. I nod off to the droning sound of the engines as we make our way towards paradise.

Waking with the sudden need to use the bathroom, I unbuckle my belt and slowly rise. "Everything okay?" He asks.

"I just need to use the restroom." The expression on his face is one of pensive thought, and he looks like he wants to say something.

Just as I begin to wash my hands in the tiny room, I hear a knock, "Just a minute." And another. Can't they see the 'occupied' light on? Geez. "Bella it's me, open the door, quick." I hear through the wall in a whispered yell over the noise of the plane. Just as I go to open the door, Edward rushes in towards me.

"What are you doing?" I ask completely confused.

Just then, our flight attendant is at the partially opened door. "I'm sorry sir, but only one person in the restroom at a time." With a defeated look on Edward's face and a puzzled, somewhat embarrassed look on mine, we return to our seats.

"What has gotten into you?" I whisper.

"Nothing, I just thought maybe we could try and join the mile high club," he says with a shy, guilty look. I stare at him with a look of shock.

"Never mind." He covers up with his blanket and looks out the window.

My mind is racing; would he really have done that if we didn't get caught? Would I? I chuckle to myself as I slowly drift back to sleep.

A soft hand rubs up my leg, slowly lifting the sundress that Edward had asked me to wear. Tingles run rampant on my skin. _What an amazing dream_. A soft touch ghosting over my skin, running up to the apex of my thighs as a single finger slides under the seam of my panties honing in on my most sensitive part. Wait! My eyes are open in a flash. I don't dare move as not to draw attention. I turn my head to see a smiling Edward looking like the proverbial _cat that ate the canary_ with his hand under my blanket. Before I can speak a word, that finger slips into my soaking wet heat, then another. I turn my head into the pillow resting just against my shoulder. The feeling of his hand is so intense; the naughty feeling that we might be caught is almost too much to take. It doesn't take long before I am clenching my legs together to try and stop the onslaught of heavy breathing as I plummet over the brink into ecstasy. Edward slowly removes his fingers bringing them to his mouth for a taste. I don't remember him ever doing that before. It's kinda hot.

The flight attendant suddenly appears asking if we would like anything to drink. She leaves with our order of bottled water and lemonade. Edward chuckles to himself again, looking out to the sky while I look as if I just ran a marathon in the seat of this plane.

* * *

Our hotel is something out of a magazine. The mini suite has a small sitting area with a couch, a loveseat, and a kitchenette. The bedroom has a king sized bed and a bathroom with double sinks and a large walk-in shower and hot tub type bath. The ocean view balcony is worth the cost of the room itself. We quietly begin unpacking our bags, and I grab my things for a shower after the long flight.

The hot water quickly washes away the day.

No sooner have I rinsed off do I feel Edward come up behind me, wrapping his arms around me in a tight embrace. I turn and his lips are on me in an instant, kissing, and nibbling on my jaw, and down my neck. My ass is getting cold. "Edward you are hogging the water, I'm getting cold." He shifts back and again I am warm, with his kisses back on my neck. Except now, the spray is bouncing off him and right into my face. I gently turn, and now I am getting cold again. This showerhead clearly needs to be bigger.

The next thing I know Edward has grabbed my ass, and I am lifted and placed against the tile wall. I wrap my legs around him trying not to slip. His face buried in my neck, chest up against mine he slowly enters me. With the water providing some friction, I try to get comfortable. He awkwardly gets a hand between us, rubbing my clit, and it starts to feel good. I throw my head back … straight into the wall. Damn that hurt, and I think the soap holder is digging into my side. I try to enjoy the feelings he is trying to impart, but this is not as comfortable as I thought it would be or what the world of my Fanfiction stories would lead me to believe. His arms are shaking a little at this point, and he pulls back looking into my eyes. He can see that I am not enjoying myself and frankly, it doesn't look like he is either.

He places me back on the floor with a defeated look on his face. I will have none of that, not here on our first day in paradise. So I slowly drop to my knees, and with water pelting my face, tile marks imprinting on my knees and my ass getting cold again, I engulf him in my mouth. It doesn't take long, thankfully, before he is coming down my throat.

My knees creak as I stand back up, but the look on his face of adoration and love is well worth it. He gently kisses me in thanks, and I rinse off one final time before climbing out and allowing him to finish his shower.

Dinner that evening was amazing. We sit in the hotel's open-air restaurant with a warm, gentle breeze, candlelit table. As the sun slowly sets, the love of my life is sitting across from me. I think over the ten plus years that we have been together and I have so much to be thankful for. We taste from each other's plates and talk about things in calm conversation not normally had while surrounded by three talkative children. We even have moments of silence just taking each other in. Time has been kind to both of us, and we smile as if we are both thinking the same thing. Edward pays the bill, and we walk hand in hand towards the beach. We slip off our shoes and walk along the edge of the water, stopping to take in the moon's reflection. Edward turns to me and holds my face gingerly in his hands. "I love you so much, Bella. I want you to be happy. I want to be everything for you, everything you need."

"I am happy Edward, so much." I kiss him with all I have, trying to show him that he is my everything. He gets a twinkle in his eye and pulls me down to the sand. Slowly, he lays me back putting his hand at my waist as he resumes kissing me; placing more feverish pecks along my jaw and behind my ear. Throwing caution to the wind and not a care of being out in public, I begin to pull the shirt from his pants, quickly working on his buttons. His hands crawl up under my skirt and then I am wet. I don't mean wet with desire. We are soaking wet.

Apparently, not noticing how close we were to the water's edge or how big the swells could get, we were overtaken by a wave drenching us completely. Part of me wants to cry. A bigger part of me starts to laugh. We are both laughing, belly aching laughs. I have sand in my hair, sand in my panties, sand in my ass, which is really uncomfortable by the way. We look like drowned rats as we make our way back to our room ignoring the curious glances from onlookers.

After another hot shower, I change into my cotton nightie and Edward into his pajama pants. I snuggle into his arms with whispers of _I love yous_ as we drift off into unconsciousness.

The next day is filled with all types of adventures that the island has to offer. We rented some snorkeling gear at a local shop and went to one of the local swimming holes that just happened to be filled with large sea turtles you could touch. We drove a little up the coast and stopped at another beach. Edward let go of my hand and walked a little off to the side. It appeared he was collecting some type of rocks, so I let him go about his thing as I sat and watched, mesmerized by the ocean waves. A few minutes later he returned, and took me to another spot. There, written along the black lava was 'Edward Luvs Bella' in bright white coral. "I saw this on one of the visitor websites, the most eco-friendly graffiti," he says with a bright smile on his face. We take pictures, though I doubt I will need the reminder as I commit this to my memory.

That night we are in our room as Edward approaches me, "I thought we could try some of these things," he says pulling a blindfold, a feather, a wax candle, handcuffs, and a small, bullet-shaped vibrator from a black bag.

"Ooh, let me, let me." Slowly I remove Edward's clothes, kissing every inch of his skin as I go, watching his breathing getting heavy and his pulse pounding beneath his skin. I direct him to climb up on the bed and place his arms above his head. I slip the handcuffs to one wrist through the bedpost and again to the other wrist, checking to make sure they aren't too tight. He looks at me with some apprehension, but I see desire there as well. I slowly place the blindfold over his eyes. I pick up the feather and gently drag it from his neck, down his chest, around his nipples. The groan that comes from his lips tells me that he is enjoying this. As I drag it farther down his abdomen, his hips almost come up off the bed. _He is quite ticklish._ A swipe or two around his hardening cock and he is moaning. I give him a long swipe with my tongue for good measure, engulfing his head in the process.

As I click on the bullet, he freezes, "Um Bella, I thought that bullet would be better for your pleasure. I don't really want any exploration of my back door with that thing," he says with a somewhat uncomfortable laugh. Reluctantly I click it off, maybe hoping to discuss that topic at a later time. The massage oil candle that we lit has burned down some, and it looks ready to pour. I blow out the flame and start to pour over his chest and abdomen. "AHHHH, Bella that is fucking hot!" as he nearly jumps off the bed while still attached to the headboard.

"I'm so sorry Edward! Oh my, God, I'm so sorry!" as I quickly go to rub it off noticing the glaring red skin. I feel horrible and remove the blindfold so that he can see that I truly am sorry. "I should have tested it first. I didn't think it would be that hot. Let me uncuff you, and I'll get you a cool washcloth to soothe the skin." Searching through the bag, I don't see a key. "Where did you put the key, Edward?"

"It's in there. Keep looking." I dump everything out again onto the bed. "Isn't it in there?" he starts frantically.

"I don't see it. Are you sure you didn't put it in another bag?"

"No everything was in there. I'm almost positive." Panic begins to set in his voice. I go and grab a cool cloth to place on his skin. After another look at the bag, the blankets, the floor, the nightstand I go in search of anything else I can use. Using one of our forks left over from our earlier room service I bend back one of the tines and jiggle it to get off the cuffs. They aren't police grade, so it doesn't take much. Edward removes the other, rubbing at his wrists.

I crawl into his lap as a tear slides down my cheek. "I am so sorry Edward. I guess that didn't really turn out the way you planned."

He sighs wiping away my tear, "I'm just glad it was me and not you. We will definitely need to research or test the items out if we try anything else in the future." I nod my head agreeing. The rest of the night we find comfort in each other's arms. He takes me slowly, carefully avoiding his still, slightly tender skin. Missionary is just fine. I just need to be close to him. After both finding our release, he rolls off me and almost instantly finds sleep. I curl up beside him listening to his heartbeat as I drift off.

* * *

The next morning we head to one of the helicopter tours. If I thought the island was beautiful from the ground, it is even more amazing from up in the air. We fly over the Volcano National Park along with some of the other landmarks and beaches. We find our hotel from the sky and try unsuccessfully to find our Hawaiian graffiti. Our week is filled with activities like this, just taking in the sites, enjoying each other's company.

On our last evening, we go to a luau. Just like every other activity in Hawaii, It too is absolutely amazing. The food, except the poi, the music, the dancing is out of this world, a once in a lifetime experience. They call some couples to come up onstage to try hula dancing. Thankfully, no one tries to coax us up there. Neither Edward nor I are fond of that kind of attention, preferring to stay out of the limelight. We leave with leis around our necks and a flower in my hair. I can tell Edward is also swept up by the excitement. As we make our way back to the hotel, his hands are all over me. These aren't gentle caresses. These are urgent, purposeful, groping touches. We enter our room, and my dress is off in seconds. Pinching my nipples, sucking on my neck, hands everywhere. I can't get his clothes off fast enough, shirt, belt buckle, pants unbuttoned and dropped to the floor. Shoes stuck, he is almost tripping and falling to the floor.

He guides me over to the back of the couch. I'm not quite tall enough, so he moves to the arm. Bending me over he slides his hands down my back, sliding my panties off as he goes. He goes to town on my pussy, licking from top to bottom. It feels so incredible. As he rises to his feet, he starts talking, "You like that Bella? You like it when I lick your pussy like that? Does it make you so wet and moist?" _Hold up, did he just say_ moist _?_ "I'm going to impale you with my steel rod. Do you want that Bella? Do you want to be impaled?" I would have laughed, except he tried to impale me in the WRONG HOLE! "Edward! Owww! You're hitting the wrong hole!" I lie there, trying to catch my breath, both from the initial excitement and then from the near, backdoor impalement. He is standing still behind me. His excitement is no longer evident. Seconds drag on in silence. And then he walks away, without a word, socks still on his feet, he walks into the bedroom and closes the door with a quiet click.

Shit.

Our flight home is early and nearly silent.

No under the blanket orgasms.

No attempts at the mile high club.

We speak barely a word.

When I walked into our bedroom last night, Edward was in the shower. I almost joined him, but I had the feeling that he wanted to be left alone. I fell asleep before he came to bed and awoke to the ringing of the phone from the front desk; our wake-upcall.

* * *

When we arrive home, the kids are at Edward's parents until tomorrow. The silence is deafening. We drag our bags up to our room and start the chore of unpacking. After twenty minutes, I can't take it anymore. "Edward? How long are we going to do this? Why aren't you talking to me?"

More defeated than I have ever seen him, he looks at me. "Bella I tried. I'm sorry, but I tried. I tried to be better for you, more spontaneous, more adventurous. I tried so hard. I read your stories. I've read a bunch of them. I loaded that website on my phone that day you showed me your tablet. I've been reading stories about sex in all these different places, bondage and anal play, erotic spanking and different positions, dirty talk and food play. All it got us was kicked out of an airplane bathroom and sand in our pants. I could barely hold you up for shower sex, and I think you may have gotten a concussion. I had first-degree burns and handcuffs without keys. I was so embarrassed last night! I sounded like a fool trying to impale your moist heat with my steel rod. I'm no good at talking dirty. I never know the right things to say. And then I couldn't even get it in the right place!"

He storms out of the room and down the stairs. My mind reels with what he has just confessed to me. I find Edward sitting on the couch in our living room, head back, eyes closed. I straddle his lap and sit there until he lifts his head up to look at me.

"Were you just on the same vacation that I was?" He stares at me. "Were you? Edward, do you know what I took away from our vacation? I got to spend a week with the love of my life who gave me an orgasm on a plane, made me laugh harder than I have in a long time and wrote eco-friendly graffiti for me. I had a helicopter ride, swam with turtles, took romantic walks on the beach, saw beautiful sunsets, ate incredible food, except the poi, at an amazing luau, and made more memories to add to our ten plus years of happiness. I got to fall asleep in your arms every night and wake up wrapped around you every morning. And, we had amazing sex that reconnected us in ways that we haven't been in a long time."

"But I thought you wanted more," he says with disbelief in his eyes. "I tried to give you more."

"Edward maybe more isn't all it's cracked up to be. Those stories are make-believe characters. Sure, trying new things can be exciting and maybe those stories give us ideas on things to try, but it isn't real life. I don't know any people who have sex fifteen times a day with mind blowing orgasms every time, do you?" That gives us both a chuckle. "Frankly I don't think my vagina could handle that."

I stare into his beautiful green eyes trying to express all the love I feel in my heart at this exact moment. I lean in for a kiss and my lips mold to his with soft urgency. I sigh with a feeling that makes me know I'm home; that this is where I'm meant to be; with the man I am meant to be with. Slowly my fingers begin to unbutton his shirt. I slide it off his strong shoulders. He lifts my blouse over my head. His hands caressing my skin with such reverence. I unbutton his jeans as I feel his rock hard cock between us. I stand, and he slowly peels my leggings and panties down, running his lips across my belly. I kneel before him and help him drag his jeans down his legs, removing his socks in the process. He chuckles a little. I climb back up on top of him. "Let me take you to our bed Bella."

Shaking my head, "No, let's stay right here." I give him another heated kiss and lift up, sliding down onto his throbbing cock. He fills me so much, and I gently start moving up and down, watching his eyes. His hands continue to roam all over my body, playing with my nipples, squeezing my ass, gripping my hips. My movements become faster. His grip tightens, and he starts lifting up and meeting my hips with greater urgency. Our breathing gets faster, sweat glistens along our skin, pulses racing and I feel it coming. My orgasm explodes, and I see stars, fireworks even, and Edward is not far behind me.

We sit there in comfortable silence until he mumbles into my shoulder, "I love you. And I really love you being on top." I giggle. I reach for the box of tissues on the end table. Fanfiction doesn't write about the 'sexy' moment of running to the bathroom before the cum drips down your leg … as I shove some of that tissue up there to prevent that from happening.

I remove myself from Edward's lap and wait for the feeling to come back to my legs as he steadies me. I think there is a Cheeto stuck to my knee. _Whatever._ We walk hand in hand towards the stairs. Edward stops me a second and runs over to the fridge. He finds what he's looking for walking towards me with a spray can of whipped cream and a mischievous look on his face.

We don't have sex fifteen times that night, but we do go for a personal record. We play a little with whipped cream and then manage to find a comfortable position to have sex in the shower with both of us staying under the warm water and no concussions.

That week away did change our relationship. We still don't have Fanfiction sex. We have Edward and Bella sex and it's better than ever. We still do missionary, but we also do doggy style and cowgirl and reverse cowgirl. He got me a picture tutorial copy of the Kama Sutra for my birthday. We try to find different places in the house when our kids aren't around. I have been to Edward's office on occasion after everyone has left for the day, and maybe once for a nooner if I'm being totally honest. We've tried it in the car and once on a friend's boat. Some places work better than others, but it is a little spontaneous and a lot exciting.

It's all about the exploration and finding what works for us.

I guess what I was looking for was right there all along. There's no comparison to love and reality… it's about keeping it all in perspective.

* * *

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